Simon4

SIMON JAMES BRUNTON
19th July 1982 - 18th April 1998

The worst day of our lives

At 12noon on 27th March 1996, two doctors came to see me, took me into an office and told me that the operation would not be to fit a shunt, but that my son had to have an operation to remove a brain tumour! Simon would be having an MRI scan the following day to determine the position and size of the tumour. They couldn't tell me if it was malignant until after they had operated. I felt sick, I felt faint, I wanted Vince, I was in tears, I had so many emotions and thoughts tumbling around in my head, I didn't know which way to turn. All I knew was that when I walked out of that office I had to face Simon. How was I going to tell him? What was I going to tell him?

I came out of that office numb, red-eyed and smiling. For the moment, at least, I couldn't let on to Simon the full extent of what I knew. I could hardly believe it myself, much less try and explain it to Simon. So I just told Simon that the doctors and I had discussed the MRI procedure for the following day. With my 'brave face' firmly in place I set about keeping Simon occupied for the rest of that afternoon. I felt that I couldn't phone Vince because I didn't want him driving like a lunatic to get to the hospital. Anyway he'd gone to work and Amy had gone to school and was due to go to a friend's birthday party that evening. I didn't want to break the news to Vince over the phone and I didn't want to stop Amy going to the party. So somehow I got through the afternoon and early evening by being with Simon and keeping him busy.

At around 8.30 that evening I had to tell my husband that our precious son had a brain tumour. We were absolutely heartbroken, but knew that we had to say something to Simon and Amy because they were sensible enough to know that something was happening. We explained to Simon and Amy that there was a little lump inside Simon's head that needed to come out and that was why he had to have the scan and the operation. How much can you tell a 13 year old and an 11 year old? Vince and I talked liked we'd never talked before, clinging to the hope that everything would work out right in the end. We decided that we would try and be as open as possible with the children without scaring them. We didn't want to risk the possibility of them hearing about it from someone else.

Simon and Amy were always so close

When the scan results came back the following day, we saw them first with the doctor and then asked him to explain them in simple terms to Simon, who we then brought into the room. The doctor showed Simon the scan results and explained what was happening in his head to cause the headaches and what he would be doing in theatre on the following Tuesday. Vince and I were in a kind of auto-pilot mode, we knew we had to look after the children, but our minds were in torment. That afternoon we took the children to the cinema, which was just two minutes down the road from the hospital and which was to become a regular sanctuary, our only release from the stresses of having to protect the children. Whilst we were all sitting in the cinema and the children were interested in the film, they couldn't see our tears of despair.